The biggest mistake you can make is when you share your marital problems with your parents or your spouse`s parents. In an article on how to handle difficult in-laws, Huffpost explains: “You solve problems in a marriage within a marriage – not by turning away from your partner and parents. If you give your parents air every time you`re angry or hurt, they`ll build a case against your partner. “You want to love your in-laws. You tried to love them. But this is not the case. In-laws who act like you don`t exist must be among the toughest. They talk about you as if you weren`t there. They completely ignore you at family dinners, treat you as if you are completely non-existent, and may even refuse to see you. Instead of weighing down your feelings or criticizing yourself, see if you can practice radical acceptance of your in-laws and your reaction to them. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings instead of ignoring them or pretending they don`t exist.

“In-laws are not always easy to manage; However, there are signs that can help you recognize if a son-in-law is trying to pit you and your partner against each other,” says Lowery. For example, if your in-laws turn everything into a horrible game of “he said she said,” that`s a strong sign that they`re bringing some negativity to your relationship with your partner. Not to mention, it can lead to a lot of unnecessary confusion between the two of you. “This genetic conflict can cause affine stepparents to disagree on the allocation of resources and investments, just as we see mothers and fathers disagreeing on these areas,” the authors wrote. “Our findings are consistent with the hypothesis that genetic conflicts may underlie negative social interactions that occur in subsequent (in-laws) relationships.” False. The truth is that conflicts caused by monsters can lead to divorce! Many people believe that a good relationship with your in-laws is crucial to maintaining your marriage, and they are right to some extent. Being polite, friendly and welcoming will help you create a closer bond with your in-laws. If you can all be sensitive to each other`s needs, it can make the time you spend with your in-laws much easier.

It`s natural, healthy, and important to set boundaries with your in-laws (and your own parents), and your in-laws need to be aware of and respect those boundaries. This will allow your in-laws to come and go in your relationship appropriately. How to deal with it: With the support of your partner, you can try to explain to your in-laws that their words and actions hurt your feelings. But if that doesn`t go well, unfortunately, it`s best to limit your interactions with them. “Tell them you`re not being treated disrespectfully this way, and then talk to your spouse about what you`re going to do in the future,” McBain says. “Do you need an apology? Do they have to leave early? Do they have to stay in a hotel? Remember that you don`t resist the in-laws, so try not to offend or blame them, as this can put your partner in the defense. Also, keep in mind that your partner may not see anything wrong with their family`s behavior. If you`re having trouble dealing with your in-laws, it`s important to seek help from someone who can offer unbiased advice.

It could be a friend or relative who is one step away from the situation. They will be able to offer you support and advice without prejudice. Spending time with others can be exhausting. Especially if you spend your time with your in-laws. You may not always like being with your in-laws (and sometimes they don`t like being with you either), but it`s something we all need to do, so try to make the most of it for your own good and that of your partner. When things are going well, it brings you even closer. But just because you`re not on an equal footing with your mother-in-law or stepfather doesn`t mean your marriage is doomed. With a little patience and understanding, you can learn how to navigate the waters and build a healthy relationship with your in-laws, even if you don`t really like them. How to deal with it: The most important thing first, as with most of these issues, is to approach it with your partner. Maybe your SO`s parent is unconsciously passively aggressive and doesn`t understand that it hurts you, and your partner can suggest how to deal with it. “The overall goal here is to make sure the couple is aware of what seems passively aggressive and has a common plan to deal with it,” Shirey says.

Discuss what you feel or feel like passive aggression from the in-laws and how you plan to handle it as a couple. Ultimately, this may mean that a person directly confronts the in-laws and asks them to clarify their meaning, or asks them (respectfully) to rephrase or rephrase their words. “Every family has a certain way of doing things. It`s completely natural and normal for your in-laws to do things differently than you`re used to, but that doesn`t mean they`re wrong. And that doesn`t mean you`re wrong. It just means you`re different. For example, you grew up with a big celebration on Thanksgiving. Your mom made great cinnamon rolls and a giant fruit platter, and your dad made the best omelets you`ve ever tried. But your in-laws go to McDonald`s and catch McMuffins eggs. It may sound strange to you and not so fun or exciting, but that doesn`t mean they`re wrong. It`s just their way of doing things.

Accept them for who they are and try not to despise them because they don`t live up to your standards or expectations. I`m going through a split these days because of my in-laws. My husband has a very large family in which he is the youngest and I did not have a mother-in-law. I tried almost everything on the blog, to be respectful towards them and not to use my child as a pawn. To keep peace with my husband, I called her every month, bought gifts for her to visit. The funny thing is that every time I went to see her sister, she behaved very well with me, but at the same time, she made us argue. I went abroad to see others, it was a worse story. In the end, I decided to pack my bags and leave, which means I don`t want anything to do with them. Then, my husband recently picked up unnecessary arguments that led to further domestic violence and then separation. I think my relationship was weak for this to happen, and no understanding between us because he was far too attached to his sisters and treated them more than his mother. Very sad!!! In a way, I`m glad I came out of this strange family.

I just don`t know if I can completely suppress my in-laws in my life. They are so bad!!!!! They are very good at accepting things about me and my fiancée. Sisters-in-law are so good at creating assumptions that really aren`t true. Without asking us the real reason for our actions. All they wanted to think and put in their heads was all the negativity about us. I never forced myself to explain the reasons to them. Because I believe that if you always see the wrong things in a person, then nothing will change your mind. They only believe in what they normally see, which is not true. I had the chance to talk to my Mil and I was so shocked by all her accusations that are so false.

She sees our relationship as a bad thing that happened to her son. It changed so much from the beginning that I became his friend. I didn`t know what to say to him. She even told me that what I wanted was just her son`s money. The strange thing is that I can`t even understand where it comes from. I can`t even react right now. My mind was so shocked by the words she had addressed to me. His heart is so full of anger and bitterness. I stand still. Of course, I feel hurt because I`ve been living with them for about 3 years.

I did my best to manage his family well. And I know my in-laws don`t love me from the beginning. But I ignored this fact for a very long time and tried to be nice to them.